dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
