Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize