my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
