so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
