Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
