Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
