remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Panties = found
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
