I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
