Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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