i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize