You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
