What a fucking waste of an outfit
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
