he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
