why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
