You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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