i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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