You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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