The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
