so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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