I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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