I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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