Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize