Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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