One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
