The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
