I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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