You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
