You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize