just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize