This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
