dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
