This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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