Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
