JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
