What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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