ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
