We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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