hell yes lets make some ravioli
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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