I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
