Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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