What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
