Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize