I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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