he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
