I don't think brook has ever known best
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
