You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
