There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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