Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
