Barsexuality is the new black.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize