Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The air was thick with penises
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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