he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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