I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My bed smells like the plague
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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