I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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