I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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