But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
