I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Randomize
