ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
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