thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
