Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize