He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
