jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
