this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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