Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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