your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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