I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Fuck appropriateness.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
