I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
