Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I wish I only lived at night.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
