i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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