I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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